Monday, May 19, 2008

One Missed Call Review

Genres: Comedy....Oh Wait I Mean Horror

Running Time: 1Hr & 25 Mins

Release Date: January 4th, 2008

MPAA Rating: G anyone can watch this shit stain of a movie but really you don't want to watch it so stay away.

Distributors: Warner Bros. Pictures Distribution

U.S. Box Office: 26,876,529 Million To Much

Beth Raymond is traumatized when she witnesses the gruesome deaths of two friends just days apart. Even more disturbing, she knows that both of them had received chilling cell phone messages--actual recordings of their own horrifying last moments. Impossibly, the calls were received days before they died, but each death occurred precisely when and how the messages foretold. The police think Beth is delusional--except for Detective Jack Andrews, whose own sister was killed in a freak accident that bears a strange similarity to the deaths of Beth's friends. Together, Jack and Beth work feverishly to unravel the mystery behind the ominous calls. But even as they get closer to the truth, Beth's cell phone begins to ring with an eerie tune, and the readout displays: "One Missed Call."

Alright i have One Missed Call or like it should have been called One Missed Plot Cause this movie makes barely any sense what so ever. It pisses me off when you see almost the same thing as a superior horror movie (The Ring) with the same PG-13 rating(obviously i was kidding about the G rating) done not just bad but terribly.

Some of my friends claim this movie was smart as hell and all the imagery was great but man this imagery looks like shit and these are the same guys that said Iron Man and Golden Compass looked to fake. There was a part where there was some kind of insect crawling on some girls hand and I'm sorry ill tell you guys right now that this shit should have been a direct to dvd release. At least if it was a direct to dvd release i would know why it is this bad, but really you can't get any worse then this movie.

Now here is where we get into things, ok so we have a girl (Shannyn Sossamon) who's friends start getting killed, but before they die they pretty much get a notice but its in a form of a One Missed Call. It works like this, ok say it says one missed call on Friday at 3:00 P.M. even when it only Tuesday, then thats the time and day you are going to get killed, doesn't matter where......your going to die.

Now it sounds cool but after that it starts getting really really stupid (not like it isn't already). Theres a story about some girl that was trapped in a fire a little while ago and here mother died in the fire, hold on, later on in the movie you see here toasty ass body right there. So no one thought well maybe we should get her out of there. Anyway that actually what starts this, everyone thinks its the mother when well it wasn't (BIG FUCKING SURPRISE HUH!!!!) it was actually the older sister of the little girl who died of a asthma attack.

I don't know why see came back and started killing these people who she doesn't even know, who have no relation to anyone in here family what so ever. So theres the little insect things again which have no reason in the movie and why there in a jar at the little girls house i really don't know.

Anyway the CGI was terrible in this movie( i already told you guys before) and if there is a good thing about this movie is that it comes from 2008 so i have another movie for the worst of 08 so thank you One Missed Call for sucking so much balls. One thing i didn't talk about was Ed Burns which of course he's going to be the cop who gets his ass killed at the end. But really we know that Ed Burns is a really good actor and he did good with what he had to work with.

So really One Missed Call could have been a great movie if they did the same thing but make it Rated R and have a whole lot of gore. This movie would have been great for that cause there was some bitch hit by a train, i guy got impaled by a pole, and some other great got the worst death of all of them, she got a hand in the back of the neck. See that would have been great for this movie.

So really this is a call you guys really shouldn't mind missing and if you check out a horror movie now that is in the theaters or are on dvd then go and check out The Ruins, its a pretty decent movie and best thing of all its RATED R!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.5 Hard Edged Detectives Out Of 5

No comments: